EmotionAL: session eight: now we explore the emotional aspects of addiction and to further explore the buddhist doctrine of the interconnectedness of self and our natural environment as an addiction disorder causes the sufferer to become disconnected with anything other than their lesser self and their whole experience is all consuming and completely fills their mind and lives, much like a mental health condition and this doctrine helps the sufferer to reconnect with their greater self (others & the universe) and to once again experience feelings of interconnectedness with themselves, with others and with their environment which is vital for recovery on an emotional level as this expands consciousness to embrace others which is the opposite of being trapped within ones own self. buddhism teaches that everything is interdependent, no human being or any other phenomena exist on their own, they exist or occur because of their relationship with all other beings & phenomena. everything in this world comes into existence in response to causes & conditions, that is nothing can exist independently of other things or arise in isolation. in this phase of the programme we will look at the emotional aspects of addiction and how to manage human relationships as those who have a codependent relationship with a substance invariably have codependent relationships with another human being be they family or partners. we will look at love addiction and examine a theory called king baby syndrome which occurs due to the addiction disorder. king baby syndrome is a theory of arrested emotional development in an individual that learns to use substances to cope with difficult emotional experiences in adolescence and due to this unhealthy coping mechanism doesn't process those difficult emotions in a healthy way thus avoiding developing and growing psychologically into a mature adult but instead remains in an adolescent mind set unable tp maintain adult relationships and to process emotions in a mature and capable way.
session nine: in this session we will look at the emotion of anger as this feeling is incredibly triggering and can be a major cause of relapse so having a deeper understanding and awareness of anger is vital to being able to manage and cope with this difficult emotion and to be able to maintain our recovery. When i first started to practice i realized that this world of anger was one of my predominate life states and a lot of the causes of the anger i felt due to my abandonment issues in childhood was unconscious. my lack of self esteem was compounded by my addiction and the feelings of guilt and shame i experienced due to my abusive behaviour, which would manifest when i was highly intoxicated. i would become very passive aggressive, often putting other peoples needs before my own and then i would nurture growing resentments which would eventually cause me to explode in fits of rage when using. this was a never ending spiral that i seemed trapped in, descending into a pit of self hate and loathing. through my recovery and my buddhist practice i have become ever more self aware and as i have changed my inner reality and life state my behaviour is no longer harmful to myself and others and my self esteem and self respect has slowly manifested in my life and i now feel anger in a positive way and have a greater sense of the inequality, injustice and corruption in this world and i now channel my anger into challenging this. we will also explore the buddhist concept of turning poison into medicine or using our negative karma as fuel for our own personal awakening or enlightenment and recovery which is exactly the process i used to transform these negative emotions, feelings and behaviour into the driving force of my buddhist practice and bringing about a positive change in the most fundamental level of my life. there is a famous buddhist analogy of the lotus flower which says that the lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest muddy pond, the lotus flower grows out of the mud. without the mud there can be no lotus flower. our suffering represented by the muddy pond is exactly what we must use in order to grow the lotus flower of our awakening or enlightenment.
session ten: in this session we will continue to look at emotions that are a major cause of relapse to gain an insight into the best way to develop coping strategies to be able to manage them in a healthier way to remain drug and alcohol free. we have covered anger in the last session and now we will look at boredom. i have often heard people give the reason of their relapse as "well i was bored" and this could be the case but when i have broken it down and explored exactly what was going on when they were sitting at home alone, they were actually experiencing a myriad of different emotions such as loneliness, low self worth, low mood in general and due to their lack of self awareness have usually just slapped the label of boredom on their experience. there is no doubt that boredom is a very real emotion and that for someone in recovery it is also a very dangerous emotion that is an internal trigger which leads to cravings and thoughts of acting out once more, so it imperative that we have a better understanding of this elusive emotion and gain the skills necessary to be able to cope with and manage it when it arises. we will also explore the concept that our buddhist practice is not something that is different or removed from the everyday realities of day to day living and is a practice that can be performed where we find ourselves, right here, right now. we do not have to lock ourselves away in a monastery by going on some sort of retreat but can practice in any environment that we find ourselves in and as most human beings now live in an urban environment and have busy lifestyles with many distractions this came as a great relief for me. this is one of the many practicalities of practicing nichiren shoshu buddhism which makes it accessible to everyone and especially those who are contemplating or who are already in recovery.
session eleven: my experience of treatment in residential rehab now that i have more knowledge and understanding was that it was limited in many ways and the programme did not even look at codependency in human relationships. it was later, after leaving, that i became aware of this massive problem in my intimate relationships with others and it took many years for me to gain an understanding of this psychological condition which is defined as a behavioural condition in a relationship where one person enables another persons addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under achievement. among the core chARacteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people or partner for approval and a sense of identity and how this condition was hugely detrimental to my well being, self esteem and happiness so i have included it as an integral part of sun lotus recovery due to its enormous significance in being able to have and maintain healthy, non toxic, mutually respectful, intimate human relationships whilst maintaining your recovery. by remaining in a codependent dysfunctional relationship you are putting your recovery at risk as it is a source of continuing and ongoing difficult emotions, generating all sorts of feelings that are a massive trigger for relapse and as an addiction disorder can be fatal, this is an issue that has to be addressed as your continuing survival could depend on it. we will also look at the buddhist doctrine of practicing for oneself and for others and how this fundamental teaching needs to be internalized to be able to experience true human happiness. this fundamental practice of nichiren shoshu buddhism also connects the practitioner with what is known as their greater self, which also embraces ones lesser self or ones own being. in an early buddhist doctrine there is the teaching of dependent origination which is expressing the interdependence of all things. it teaches that no living beings or phenomena exist on their own, they exist or occur because of their relationship with other ;living beings and phenomena. everything in the world comes into existence in response to causes and conditions, that is nothing can exist independently of other things or arise in isolation. this teaching is ultimately expressed in the most profound teaching of ichinen sanzen which teaches us that on a fundamental level our lives and the lives of all other living beings are essentially one and the same. with this realization comes true understanding of self and a sense of connectedness and well being and happiness.
session twelve: in this final session of the programme we will conclude our understanding of codependency and how we can gain a new self awareness and the skills and abilities necessary to be able to have healthy intimate human relationships and to move away from our old thinking and behaviour which leads to having unhealthy ones, enabling us to lead a happy and fulfilling life and to be able to have long term loving relationships with others without them having to be toxic and abusive. in my rehab these topics were never explored and after i completed my treatment i returned to my codependent relationship and it took another four years of unhappiness and research into codependency before i finally managed to have the courage and strength needed to leave this dysfunctional relationship behind and it was one of the most difficult and painful experiences of my life, so in my understanding, to gain some awareness around these tendencies is imperative for a happy and successful recovery. this is why we have dedicated so much attention and focus on these matters in sun lotus recovery, hopefully giving participants a better understanding of the work needed to have a safe and successful recovery. we also look at the ultimate purpose of practicing nichiren shoshu buddhism, that of creating a harmonious and peaceful global human society that lives in harmony with itself and its environment, which is the greatest quest of our anthropocene age, through looking at and studying nichiren daishonins famous writing called 'rissho ankoku ron' which can be considered as the school of nichiren shoshu buddhism's manifesto for the enlightenment of humanity and the attainment of world peace which is the noblest of undertakings. to be part of this undertaking and my practice of nichiren shoshu buddhism has given my life context and meaning and is now the driving force in my life and has led me to launch sun lotus recovery which i hope can enable others to find a meaningful recovery from addiction and to live out a fulfilling life with their families and loved ones.
